Welbur Staircase

There lived a man long ago named Welbur Staircase. He was most unlike any other person in his social group. His face looked like an eroded toenail, and his nose, like a cracked wooden staircase. His last name had no direct affiliation with this.

Many people who stared directly into his eyes testified that they had been to heck in that very moment. When he was asked one time what his opinions on current events were, he simply repeated the digits of pi over and over again. Later, interviewers reported massive hearing loss.

Some claim that Welbur's wife was Mergret Parka, Franderick Bobson's grandmother. Mergret Parka was murdered by a man in a black cloak, similar to the one that the grim reaper wears. Welbur wears a black cloak. Welbur likes wearing black cloaks. Welbur writes stories about himself online. Welbur is me. Welbur is eating your brain in the middle of the night.

Don't fall asleep.
Don't fall asleep.
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D̵̜͓̤̦̒̋͝o̷̗͙͓̤͔͂̍͐ñ̸̨̳̹̝̠̔̊̑̅'̵͓̠̭̄̉t̵͙̖̹͇̺͊̅̀̾̽ ̵̧̭͚̺̱̒͋f̶̡͎̰͌̇a̴͐̊̚ͅl̴͚̥̿̓͋͝ḷ̴̢̀̀̒͑̕ ̷̢̛̓̈a̶͖̱̣͖͐́̽͜s̴̨̜̦̟̰̒l̶͈̦͙͉̾̂̑͛͠ȩ̸̼̯̳͊̓̕ę̶͓͓̼̲̌̽͂̃̇ṕ̴͚̰͔̤͚̅̏̆̌.̷͍͝
Ḏ̷̨͍̤̟̪̫͆̈́̎̂̈́̈́͘͝͠ǫ̸̎̄̀̆͂̈̏̂͘̕n̵̰̜̯̜̈́̔'̷͕̼̰̼̗̩̈͜͜͠t̴̘͙̠͌̅̈́̎̒̄̓̿͠ ̸͎̯̾͊̀́͒̆̆̎̕f̷̼̼̟̓̀͑͠a̶̯̗̲̰̩͆̒̑͌͂̓̂̇l̴̢̛̜̲͖̘̱͙̔͊̆͒̀̑̽̎͠l̴̡̡̧̞̼͎̣͖͛̈́͆͌̑́̔͊͝ ̸̯̤̼̟͇̃̇͂͌̊͜ǎ̴̡͔͍͓̘̐̾̕͜s̷̢͍͓̜̟̦͙̫̀̅̇̿̐̏̎͜l̸͉̙̹̾͛̚ͅe̷̡̅͑̃̏̃͝e̵̛͇̓̃p̴̢͕͐́̇͌̀̇̈́͜.̴̨͙̞̜̫̥̠͗̽̉ͅ